Technically Invisible

So tomorrow morning, we are letting go of our firstborn as she leaves for college.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking – this is another one of THOSE blog posts about empty nests and finding wings.  It’s another post about searching for our independence as parents while our child discovers hers.  I’ll bet you are thinking this is just one more post from a nostalgic mom about her child who is heading off into the world.  (I’ve read more than my fair share of them, so I see it coming, too!)

And you’re right. It IS another one of THOSE posts. Kinda.

I realized this tonight while braiding my daughter’s hair: we are not letting go of Kendyl tomorrow as she moves into her freshman dorm. We already let her go… bit… by bit… by bit… over the years. Tomorrow marks one more significant step towards letting go completely, and we are ready for it!

Tonight, my independent, creative, opinionated daughter texted me from her bedroom (as she does quite often) to see if I could come up and braid her hair. I’ve braided her hair hundreds of times in the last 18 years, and love doing so. I headed upstairs to find her waiting for me:

Seriously, her head of hair is incredible.  I brushed it out, snapped a photo and then sat myself down on the carpet to get to work.  As you can imagine, it took quite a while….  Braiding her hair gave us time to chat and it gave me time to think and reflect…

This red-haired Rapunzel we are sending off to college is certainly not a perfect product of her father and I.  In fact, she hasn’t been for quite some time. Who she is, and who she will ultimately become depends on hundreds and hundreds of people she comes in contact with. This symbolization and realization came to me as I started braiding her hair. Left untouched, Kendyl’s hair represented her in her purest sense – who she is without any outside influences. However, as I started weaving in strand by strand by strand, I couldn’t help but think of how her hair became more complex.  The photo I snapped at the end shows how that natural, pure hair is now part of a more important design. It was Kendyl, only more interesting.

Tonight I stopped worrying about letting Kendyl go. I stopped concerning myself with outside influences.  I stopped mourning the end of our time with her and realized we started letting go of our daughter years ago. Think about it – we were letting go every time we introduced her to someone or something new.  “Time for playgroup!” ~ “Book Club today!” ~  “Off to school!!” ~ “Babysitter tonight!” We were letting go each time we signed her up for t-ball, and soccer, and Girl Scouts. We were letting go with each ring of the phone and each click of her mouse.  We were letting go every single time we engaged in disagreements, every time we dropped her off at a sleepover, and every time she turned the key in the ignition. We’ve been weaving in strands of independence for years.  As I reached the end of her braid, I took in a (very) deep sigh of relief. We are already pros at letting go!   We’ve got this.

Actually, we got THIS:

So, I guess we’ve only really “got this” if we’ve “got” a really big U-Haul ready to roll.  Wish US luck!!  Kendyl certainly doesn’t need it. 😉

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UPDATE!!

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All moved in, and her “Vision” was brought to life with a lot of sweat, patience and smiles. Let the adventure begin!

2016: Updated Update!  My daughter headed to a new dorm, a new adventure. Moving wasn’t fun, but her room looks just as homey:

2018: What I think will be the final update:

So, this is the last semester she will be living at school.  She has a room all to herself in a small suite and Dad and I were both working during Move-In time. Yikes!  “Honey, looks like you are moving yourself in!”

Well, maybe you saw this coming – but I didn’t.  Seems my daughter has started her own blog.  Becoming Miss Brooks: Future Teacher, College Student, Sorority Woman – check out her recent Move-In post and get packing advice straight from the source!! She says it all better than I could!! Here’s a preview pic:

Simplify.